With new baby on the horizon, and knowing that in any matter of days or weeks we will be newborn parents again (which is just crazy to type, honestly!), I have been thinking a lot about that stage with both of our other kids, and the good, the bad, and the ugly.  I am writing today both for encouragement for new or soon to be parents, but also as a little reminder for myself, because we are well aware that every baby is different, and we might have an entirely different experience this time!

While neither of our kids were 100% easy as babies, and while they have extremely different personalities, we would both admit that in the grand scheme of everything, we have easy kids.  We could never take credit for all of it– they really are just awesome in a lot of ways!  BUT there are some things we did with regards to sleep, which I think is one of the ruling issues and fears for new parents, that I wanted to share here.  Even with 2 very different personalities and circumstances (E1 being an only child in a quiet house, and E2 being in a new house with closer rooms and lots of excess noise), they both slept very well overall and I think a lot of it had to do with these steps!

2 quick disclaimers: Our kids sleep incredibly well at home or in other environments when we can create the same set of circumstances and once they are comfortable.  They have never really been car sleepers…ever.  E2 might have been if E1 hadn’t been there to entertain her…but it seems like these steps, while creating great at home sleepers, gave them some specifics that just could not be recreated in a car. However, that being said…I would always choose home sleep over car sleep any day!  Second, these steps are just what we did and found to work. There are so many methods and options for every part of parenting– this is just one way!

Key Steps to Good Baby Sleep that translated into Good Kid Sleep

1). Separate day from night from the first moment you bring them home.  For us, this meant that when they woke up at night to eat, it happened in the same room they were sleeping in, with minimal lights and noise.  If you bring a baby out to the main living space, turn on all the lights, and turn on the TV like what they might be used to during the day, I think it is hard for them to understand that it is nighttime…a time when they go right back to sleep, and do not have play and interaction and chatting after eating. It may sound harsh with a 1 week old baby…but they have the ability to pick things up right away and it can be very confusing if nighttime is treated just like daytime!

2). White noise. It took us a bit to figure out exactly what this looked like for us because we used a machine for a long time.  But then at one month old for E1, we traveled to Indiana for a good friend’s wedding that I was in and in an attempt to limit the ENDLESS baby things we had to bring, we put an app on our of our phones. We cranked it up, and E1 slept through the night. At 4 weeks.  We have since then attributed loud white noise as a major sleep component (and found the same true with E2).  We love it as an app on our phones because we have it anywhere! I have slipped the phone in a carseat before in a store with that noise playing to help keep a napping baby asleep, we use it when we travel, the possibilities are endless!  Another tip: I don’t think babies care…but not all white noise is created equal!  For me with a musical brain, I had to find literally static noise with no change in the sound pattern or it kept me up.  Just something to consider!

3). Swaddle that baby! I know there is conflicting research on everything this after a month or so old, and I get why. We swaddled, and with a serious swaddler (here is the link), until 5-6 months old, and that is later than sometimes suggested. But our kids never had any motion issues, and spent all their non sleeping time out and wiggling…and it worked perfectly for us. For E1, we tried all the traditional things…blankets, swaddle/sleep sacks, those blanket outfits that are part outfit in the arms and part blanket in the legs. None of it worked as well as the above swaddler, which keeps their arms down and doesn’t allow them to startle.  With E2, we had lots of things in storage because we were moving…and within 12 hours of being home, I desperately texted my niece with old pictures of the swaddler and begged her to find it in our boxes and deliver it to our house ASAP!  It is just the best, works from newborn age, and truly is a miracle worker. Lots of parents say that their kids “fight” or “hate” the swaddler because they see them struggle against it.  If your child is sleeping as you want without, then that is totally fine and may be true (so I wouldn’t add any extra sleep aids then needed!). But if they aren’t…we always saw that “struggle” as the baby’s natural instinct…because once they were asleep, they were out for hours, and we think it’s partially because of being tightly swaddled.  We didn’t start with this one until 3 months or so with E1, so you can try later too if you want!

4). We have given both our babies pacifiers. With E2, we took it away for all non sleep time at age 1, and that was a good move. Regardless, it has been a major component of both of our baby’s sleep pattern. If you can go without (or take it away early), truly more power to you. But it was clearly a useful soother for both our babies- so we went for it. We also tried to attach both to lovies to hold around 6 months, and blankets around 1. One loved lovies, one loved blankets. Either way, as long as you have backups, we personally had no problem with there being something they needed or wanted to fall asleep with to give comfort.

5). We believe full heartedly in sleeping in the Rock’N’Play. Since we had E1, some conflicting thoughts have come out about the safety of sleep in them, but the only thing we noticed was the flatter back of the head. However, because it only happened with E1, we aren’t sure if it had anything to do with the rock n play or more to do with the fact that he spent 1 full week in the birth canal, or maybe that he had his head flat on EVERYTHING he did except for tummy time.  Also, they can turn their heads in the rock’n’play the same as in anything else–it isn’t like the fabric is right against their cheeks or holds their heads straight! Either way, it fixed itself pretty quickly and our babies slept in these rockers so well. Most babies just don’t like laying flat, there is just no way around it.  If you can make it happen with them flat, then that is great! If you can’t, consider this cheap, portable, wonderful item!

6). We put them down for naps and bedtime slightly awake. E2 was way happier with this than E1, but we always tried.  If they were asleep from feeding, after about 2 months (unless in the middle of the night!), we would wake them and lay them down. They have to learn to self soothe and fall asleep without eating at the same time!

7). Lastly: between 5 and 6 months (when both were solidly sleeping through the night), we cold turkey unswaddled and put them in their cribs.  They both cried for up to 1.5 hours or so for 1-2 nights depending on the kid.  We went in every 5 minutes and patted backs and cooed and sang (but did not pick them up), and they eventually went to sleep.  One of them woke up in the night a time or two for a few nights, and we did the same thing. And that was pretty much it. We let them keep their pacis, they were an age where they could roll themselves to their tummies and snuggle up easily (and it is finally safe at that point!), and they slept.  Any form of letting your baby cry is hard- but the gift you are giving them of helping them learn to sleep from a young age is irreplaceable!

Quick honorable mention to something that I think does make a difference but maybe not as important for us as the others: black out shades. If you are having trouble with sleep for babies/kids of any age, I highly recommend trying these! We added them at different times per kid depending on various things, and they seemed very helpful, even though they weren’t make or break.  I think they make a great possible problem solver, but it’s nice not to NEED them since you can’t make that happen everywhere.

I have a lot of friends who have babies/kids in their beds with them, or who started their babies in their cribs, or who don’t like white noise or swaddlers or rock’n’plays.  And it’s all fine!  I truly believe that!  But we have loved this method of ours.  Both babies slept through the night between 4-6 weeks, both babies have slept pretty well since, and as much as we love snuggling them, neither have ever slept in our bed, and it all works for us.  If you are struggling with sleep for your baby, consider some of this and see if any of it might fit into your routines to make work!

Any questions?? Leave them below! 🙂