You know something that is pretty tough for me to work out?  Figuring out when to prioritize Michael and I and when to prioritize our family (as in, our kids). The truth is, sometimes I think one is the same as the other.  And sometimes I think that prioritizing Michael and I IS prioritizing our family- because as a child of parents who divorced when I was 2, I can recognize as clearly as those who have parents that have been together forever that the marriage of mom and dad is at the center of the family.

We are really lucky, Michael and I.  From the beginning of our friendship, which quickly turned into love, we were always a really strong pair.  By that, I mean that between us, it truly is very easy.  We balance each other very well, and are both strong where the other is weak.  And neither of us seem to be particularly hurt in the same ways- so we don’t seem to play into each other’s “issues” if you will.  That being said…parenting is hard, and it is hard on a marriage.  There are just so many decisions and factors to weigh all the time.  And speaking of time…there is never enough.  But I know from our days before we were parents and even before we were married that time was at a premium all the time, and there was never enough hours in a day.  We want to spend all day with our kids, but build our careers.  We want to be the one to bring them to school and pick them up every day, but we also want to travel together sometimes.  We want their sweetest memories to be held with us, but we want all that time to be known by their other family members too.

So I think they key, for us at least, must be to prioritize whatever needs prioritizing at any given moment. Whichever feels like it needs a little focus- a little extra of that highly valued time…to make sure you figure out a way to give it.  We have come from a long stretch of focusing much more so on our kids than just on us, and with them both being toddlers now (and you know, able to do some of life’s most basic things without 100% help from us!), it gives us just a little freedom to stretch our wings.  Take a few extra date nights, or a little weekend away.  To give them a little space to grow as we grow too.  But mostly, we know that we are the biggest fans of the times when it all lines up, and we can focus on both at once.

How about you? How do you prioritize this within your marriage if you are both husband and wife and parents?  What are your success stories or warnings?